The Healing Presence of Hummingbirds

 I am delighted to participate in a conversation tomorrow night as a part of the Port Jefferson Documentary Series. The film celebrates the work of Terry Masear, a rather magical woman who takes care of injured hummingbirds. When I received a call from the organizers of the series, I knew immediately that I needed to attend and participate. My friends Patricia Paladines and Dr. Carl Safina will also be attending. I will be sharing some of my hummingbird images taken over the years.

I feel that there is a curious symbiosis between Terry's experiences and one of my own.

During my recovery from Lyme disease, I had the most extraordinary visitor here for over five months. A rufous hummingbird found her way into my garden and wintered over. Her presence was kept quiet, outside of a few friends, neighbours, and patients. I wanted to protect her from over exposure. She was fed warm nectar during the winter months, and survived every possible weather challenge. She ate ants and caught gnats in the air while constantly drinking from several feeders that were maintained to keep her alive.

When she arrived in the garden, I was so stunned and excited to have her here. It was as if the heavens had delivered a little angel that was assisting in my personal healing. Two weeks into her stay in the autumn of 2023, I remember feeling that I really needed her presence in my world and in my life. My immune system had been compromised by tick born infections and while I was undergoing treatment, I often felt confused, overwhelmed and disoriented by what was happening in my body. The process of navigating my situation often left me feeling lost. Her healing presence gave me a novel focus and distraction from the battles of my internal terrains. 

Over the course of her stay she remained close to the front door of my office in the shelter of a large Rhododendron tree. When the wind was howling from the Northeast and the cold temperatures plummeted, she sought refuge in boxwoods. All the while I was aware that this was a once in a lifetime experience. She stayed perched, facing the sun and welcoming my patients into my healing space. We all observed in wonder, awe and delight. During my most challenging days, I felt as though a guardian angel    had descended from the heavens and offered me divine support. 

During her winter stay, I took hundreds upon hundreds of pictures of her. In this Spring collage, I am including a little image of her with witch hazel, pear flowers, one of my watercolours, a shadow, and promises of colourful flowers. She offered me a ray of hope and feeling of new possibilities and healing. I believe that she also gave my patients a sense of being in the presence of a unique and rare gift. 

When I saw the film about Terry, I found it curious that she was helping injured hummingbirds heal in Los Angeles, while in my neck of the woods on the East End of Long Island, a single hummingbird was helping me and my patients heal. My private practice focuses on nervous system regulation and trauma work. We were tending to the trauma vortex but through different perspectives and portals.

We all debated how long she would stay in Springs and what she might do when the weather warmed and flowers bloomed. One day, I began to notice her gorget begin to turn copper. My feeling was that her departure was imminent. From everything that I read, this juvenile would seek her natural breeding ground and most likely return to the West Coast. One day, she did leave. I had the felt sense that she would fly away and leave because the air was warming and the sun feeling bright. While our time together was limited, she gave me so much and I am deeply grateful. I am most thankful for the opportunity to spend hours and hours alone with her and observe her behaviour. She taught me so much about rufous hummingbirds and about how to be with her in a respectful way. 

My hope is that the more Terry's work and story is shared, the more we can respect and take care of the environments that shelter, protect and support wildlife. Please join us in this beautiful exploration of the relationship between humans and hummingbirds. 

Thank you Kelly Devine and Barbara Sverd for including me in this lovely opportunity to be in the company of like minded people and good friends. 

For the Love of Botany

   I am back to the drawing board of botanical art and all of the detailed nuances of creating in this modality. It began with a strong handmade leather bound book of beautiful hot press paper. Each week I make entries, based on what I see in the garden, on my walks or from the ocean and bay beaches. It has been a serious and committed act of self care, ritual and discipline. I began the first week of March 2024. During a long and arduous battle with Lyme disease and co-infections of Babesia and Erlichiosis, my body has craved simple and kind goodness from every facet of life. In June, it will be two years since I have been fighting the good fight. My immune system went into shock and required care and deep rest. It has been a journey. As anyone who has experienced these diseases, parts of us go into what I describe as the underworld. We are held hostage by the immediate needs or our immunity as we fight internal battles in terrain that we did not even know existed in our bodies.  

Core memories of comfort, kindness and safety have kept my internal compass orienting towards healing and recovery. My earliest memories of my life include color, in the form of pencils, paper and the smells of the beautiful colors in the forms of wax crayons and paints of all kinds. My mother was an artist, and so in my healing from two simultaneous tick bites my nervous system has craved the old, the familiar and the beauty of art. 

I have explored pen and pencil, watercolours and studied the masters. I have revisited art history books, early artwork of plants and religious art, prior botanical art classes, and the mysterious journeys of botanists who traveled the globe to document plants from far away places. 

In this post are just a few examples of the drawings and little paintings that I have been creating in the past year. I have followed and explored brilliant artists, made new friends and met new teachers. Botany has been a light in my life and each small inspired moment has doubled as a drop of healing energy. 

I am grateful to Lara for taking me on as a student again, Giacomina for her inspiration and encouragement, Bianca for helping me find just the right chair to support me during the hours of painting and drawing at my table. I am grateful for Christopher who helped me create the perfect workspace and found the perfect specimens, to Bob and Carol who always say that everything I make is beautiful, and to all of my friends and family worldwide who have been kind, supportive and generous in their sharing of information and good wishes.

I am also grateful for all of the talent that is in the world making it a better and more beautiful place. While the world churns and re-organizes on a daily basis, having botanical resources, and beauty in my surroundings have made a meaningful difference in my recovery. 

I am also so deeply grateful for the birds who winter over, the hummingbirds and the magical subtle rhythms of nature. During my hours of drawing and painting, I have surrendered to rhythms that I sometimes missed before becoming ill. I have trusted that my body will heal the ravages of Lyme disease and I do believe that with time and good healing, we can return to a new level of wholeness and wisdom.